LINA'S DIARY (episode 6) Fun Time Buddies

Lina's Diary 

Episode 6

FUN TIME BUDDIES 

    A story by 

Akwuba ijeoma Celina

       Lina is fun 

       Anita is nice

      Maureen is lovely

       Bella is beautiful 

       Oh she's beautiful 

      She is cute

      So we are beautiful 

     We are cute 

      Tell Me who bears the name cute 

              We bear the name cute

             We are cute

          Who bears the name beauty

             We bear the name beauty

             We have beauty

             We are beautiful 

            Who bears the name love

           We bear the name love

            We have love 

          We are lovely

             

             We are nice

            We are fun

           We are dope

            Bella the beauty damzel

           She is dope

          We are dope

            Oya dab 

          We dab

         Oya clap

        We clap! 

         Oya dance

         We dance

  

 we are the four best buddies! 

When we were singing and dancing in the park, Tina and friends came and  said they wanna join in the dance...  

Tina said,  four best buddies, let the four best bloggers join you gals in the dance please... 

I looked at her and something told me that Tina and friends are up to something. So  I quickly forged the fourth stanza and my buddies repeated after me by adding yes to the song we sang thus:

  We are complete now! 

   yes we are complete now

we are the  four best buddies

 yes we are the four best buddies

we are complete now

  Yes we are complete now

     Oya dab

          We dab

 Oya clap

    We clap! 

   Oya dance 
        We dance

 Oya sing

       We sang

 We are complete now

    Yes we are complete now

 we are the four best buddies 

     Yes we are the four best buddies 

       

And so we  sang and  danced around  the park ,and the four foolish bloggers were envious of us. They just wanna be like us, diary. 

Other people were around the park too chilling,,some guys who came with their babes liked the way we relates so they smiled while we jubilate and some of the girls that came with their boo came dancing and dabing and clapping with us too. 

When we  had finished  singing and dancing and while people were applauding us for our great performance 

Sandra came admist of us and said she likes Bella that she  should make them five, she said

Hi beauty, I am one of the four best bloggers, do you mind working with us, you ll have a reasonable ransom for it. Tina pays us well! 

She signaled Tina and she came. And Sandra whispered to  Tina and she  said to us 

      Yep!  I pay my workers very well and am gonna pay you gals too if only you could give Bella to us. 

I gave them  sign so we said no to them, and Maureen said 

" Lina knows how to blog very well too.. so we are bloggers as well 

Though we don't blog for the money... We blog for fun. 

And amazingly Anita that hardly talk stood up and said to Tina. 

Hmmm now I've got the  chance to talk to you. 

You are the gal that insulted me some weeks back saying that I have a tiny boob... You made me ran away from your mist without taking a cool bath. Now you gals are here claiming to have one of us as your friend

You want one of us to belong to your foolish blogging right? So that you could insult the heck out of her. Thereby naming her a tiny boob bae"Don't you see Tina, that we are birds of same feathers! please go away

                  Go way from us

                Oh Tina and friends! 

Then the three  of us  said in unism

    Tina and friends please go away! 

    Leave us alone! 

Then I wondered why Bella was quiet and didn't say a word to Tina. While I was still thinking Anita was still talking to them

You are the type that wanna  separate us from being best buddies. 

You gals wanna initiate us into having sagging boobs.... We ve got the best nipples ever! 

When I heard this "nipple" from nita, I gave a sign  and whispered to her saying  "she's a blogger!  She will write on the net saying "click here to see the nipples of the four foolish lesbians as she normally call us! So please stop OK? She said alright and she stood up to buy a drink for us. 

When Nita came back from the cafe, and had a sit, Tina the boss called Bella to have one on one  negotiation with her. I quickly set my phone to voice recording and I swap my phone with Bella's phone. When she came back, I played the recorded voice and this is what Tina told Bella

 "you are beautiful 

           Oh yes you are!  

And beautiful gals goes after beautiful things to keep their beauty glowing

 You need a  cute and handsome guy like that boy over there to bring out the best in you! 

 he has a car and he lives in a mansion he base in island but he schools here in uniben. 

Hmmm"  Bella exclaimed  in exaltation 

You can  be his gal friend 

 I can see that  the both of you has the perfect match! 

          Hope u ll ' d like him! 

Just after the interaction between Tina and Bella, we heard a voice of a young guy who called himself "Jerome"  a young, cute  and handsome dope guy we knew when he walked up to Bella and Nita wishes he's hers

She said awww... He's so cute!  Am jealous

Maureen said me too

And I said ditto

    You are Bella and I  am Jerome

Record player continues 

   I saw you on the net with your buddies and I noticed one extraordinary thing about you

   You are such a beautiful gal

  You've gat all I want in a woman

   You are sexy, you are cute in your smiles, you are just complete Bella 

   Please can you be my gal? 

   I mean,... be my princess! 

 I can take care you

Very good care of you

I'll give anything you want and you will be exalted among other gals.

But then Bella chuckled and said to him

    And what do u think you have to share with me that could  extol me among other gals than the way my buddies extols me just like the way I exalts them too

He said   I've gat the mani

             I've gat the house

           I've gat the car and 

           I ve gatten u

just like Tina said I've gat everything. 

Believe me babe,  I'll make you classic.. Plz

But Bella looked at him and said

  You said  I've gotten everything and I am extraordinary already 

You said am beautiful and sexy too

Niggi,  You also said that I am complete.

Now  tell me, can you complete what's already completed? what  do you  wanna complete in  me again! Niggi? 

We listened carefully to hear what the guy has to say but Bella paused the record and said

 The Niggi was mute as if he ran short of words... He looked at Tina and she gave  a signal to continue from where he stopped.but he couldn't say anything else, rather, he repeated what he had earlier said.  

 Ohw..... Really? 

We all said.

    Yes.  She answered and play back the recorded voice. In the record Bella said to Jerome 

        Oh niggi You're so fake! 

      And I  left him in a very embarrassing way.  She continued

We applauded for Bella when she was still far away from us and the recoder recorded our applaud too.  And people were just busy looking at us,  some of those that were looking at us were showing a happy face and some where just looking at us  in a very funny and or amazingly way wondering the reason for the applaud. We  never mind,  after all it's weekend so we've got to chill. 

 Then when Bella had come to us, I noticed Tara and Spunky one of the four foolish bloggers saying to some groups of  guys that were gazing at us telling them to stop looking at us that we are lesbians! And that we can never say yes to a guy! 

Bella is  a pretender, she behaves like a deeper life girl  she's a lesbians too

 she didn't  differ  from her buddies at all  Tara said 

Then the groups of boy said... No wonder they are just four groups of gals

                     They can't love a man

                     They love themselves

                     They make love among 

                        Themselves 

But.. re we lesbians diary?  Nope we are not !

it's possible for the bloggers  to be what they call us... You never can tell

Am very upset with Tina and friends coz I hate their gossip... 

But I like the fact that they make us famous with their lies 

While their aim is to blog and gossip....

 Our aim is to sing and dance and while away our time and so they make us popular on the net. 

 Yes they make us famous  with their gossip on google and other social networks like facebooks, instagram and twitter and even on whatsapp group chats where they share their link saying "click here to read more on the four lesbians  ... Now the people knows us... They tags us as the four best buddies

Even though some of them still calls us lesbians 

But we are not bothered.  

Coz we can't be bothered when we know who we are!

We are the four best buddies 

That's All we care!

 This is not a song diary, I am just saying my mind. 
When we had finished listening to the recorded voice,  we asked her while she said no to such a cute guy. 

Maureen said

    Oh!  So you actually said no to such a handsome niggi

  And we kept on clapping and hailing you thinking you accepted the proposal. Why Bella

But Bella said

I didn't accept the proposal coz I noticed that the guy isn't real

Even if he's real I still love my Boo and I don't wanna cheat on him

Really?  We said and stood up to enter our hostel coz it's already getting dark

Then I said to bella

Be careful the way you push people away tho... You never can tell who becomes of help to you tomorrow. 

 She said. I know swthrt. I do know exactly what am doing.... Tina sent him.that was the paramount motive  for not paying attention to him....it's a set up, you know. And  Am so glad that they got what they wanted... Let them broadcast about  it!  Yes!  

Let them talk about it

We are not bothered coz we know who we are! 

"the four best buddies 

And not the four best lesbians! 

And so we all  chuckled and said 

          Yes!  We are the four best buddies!

And so we departed  to our various rooms... Me and bella, went to my room while Maureen and Anita departed to Maureen's rooms. 

And that's the end deary..... Swtdrmz! ...click here for season 2 (episode 1)

LINA'S DIARY (episode 4) Demi's Silly Joke On Kemi

Episode 4

     Demi's silly joke on Kemi


    A story by

  Akwuba ijeoma Celina 

(Lina  dropped her pen and went to June 12, to get some packs of indomie for launch.
       After cooking and taking her launch , she took a nap at around 11:00am and woke up at two hours later, then she waited for a while and then decided to visit Clara so that the both of them could attend classes together,when she came back from the classes at around 5:pm, she pick up her pen once more and said) 

Hey Kay! its good to see you once again. I've gone out for lecture and am back once more to tell you more stories. 

I know you would want to know how interesting the lecture was, anyway, it was a good one. I like my coursemates. They are very friendly and the classes where fun too.

  I think I am swinging into my dream course diary, coz, I noticed the  lecturer Is  a good one ,he  is very humble but he has a big head like Mr Edward in my basic six. Do you know he attends to our  questions  , and  he's assignment is not too hard to work on. It was just like one of those assignments in secondary school base on government. What is administrative law" hu!  It was funny tho.but I just have to keep calm coz I don't know what tomorrow will be. 

Then I met the class Rep master Emmy. He's tall and handsome and he's very agile too. He deserves to be a course Rep according to my own point of view. 

But dairy, I have a strange question 

"when Demi was cracking  joke in the class today.  I noticed a young girl who's always laughing, Timi said  "she can laugh for Africa"  but how can some one laugh for A whole of Africa? Is there a ransom for laughing ? Hm! 

This is what happened "when Demi cracked his first joke, everyone laught and we all closed our mouth when the humour was no longer  there ,while waiting for the second joke from the female Comedian, Omowumi". Surprisingly, her jokes wasn't funny at all and no one laught, but ,when I looked at my left hand side, I noticed that Kemi was still laughing,  kemi's teeth is still widely open and still looking as if she was still amused. Should I go and tell her to close her teeth so that fly's won't peck on it, or should I pretend as if am not bothered?

 She kept on opening her teeth without any intention of closing it at all. I became irritated  and frustrated so I signal her to please close her teeth. But it was as if she didn't recognize my cool signal. So I summoned her by her name and say, "hey dear Kemistry, please can you close your teeth....

Amazingly, Chuks said loudly before everyone that I was making mockery of the girl. 

Then Demi  stood up again and said something that looks like another joke to some of them in the classroom. He said it this way:

Hey!  Gal, is it because her teeth looks like an  old popsy's big hoe that are used to work on the farm, oh please  We are aware of that,we are even aware that her teeth can be used to dig six feet hole"  So please stop asking her to close her teeth coz Kemi's teeth can never be  closed for any reason. Shoo! 

But then people had already  bust out laughing especially that part when he said that her teeth is like an  old  popsy's big hoe.... 

Ah! Diary, please tell me between me and  Demi who had insulted Kemi?

this is the query diary, please  be fair in your judgement .. ...(after some seconds she said) 

.......hmmm. I know I was the one at the right part coz I didn't mean to insult her, had I known that it was the nature of her teeth,  I wouldn't had bothered to say  a word to her. 

Oh I pity Kemi shaa...  for having such a big teeth that makes her look as if she's always laughing even when unnecessarily,now she's being used as an instrument of laughter in the classroom. 

Ah, what a teeth that can put someone into trouble.  Oh!  Kemi is in a big trouble I swear. 

Hm..Sometimes nature can be very funny joor.. But what can man do? 

I think I have to stop here dairy, 

Need to fetch water for bath as the one I fetched earlier has been used by the unknown. 

Maureen said it's a hostel life again!  Hu. This hostel life, is so disgusting, but  I just have to endure it anyway.... 

Goodnight my Kay.... 

She kept her pen and diary and took her bucket down stairs to fetch two pails  of  water.

When she came upstairs,  she pleaded with her roommates not to make use of her water that she has class by 8:am tomorrow. Then she took her bath and lay down to sleep. But when she woke up in the morning, she find out that her water has already been use again this time by Fumi to flush her dirty toilet. Lina only looked at Fumi and  the empty bucket and gasped  saying.... 

 "I just have to keep calm and pretend as if everything is alright. Don't wanna bug anyone at all (then she greeted everyone and said to her diary) 

"hope your night was as cold as mine. Thanks for not coming to cuddle me. Anyway, we survived the cold plus the horrible stilth night of mosquitoes. 

I gotta leave and prepare for class. 

See ya lera,and have a blissful day ahead. ....take care....click here for episode 5

         

LINA'S DIARY (episode 2) The Hostel Life

Lina's Diary 

           Episode 2

            The Hostel life

              A story by 

      Akwuba ijeoma Celina 

As I got up from my bunk this morning , I noticed some girls going down stairs with buckets on their hand and heading towards the tap location. They had gone down to fetch water from the tap, probably to take  their bath with it. Why so early, I wondered 

"why should the girls be taking their bath by this time of the day. 

Is it that this school has classes by 6am or what?  Then I thought  of the schools that I had attended so far and I said to myself "Shinning star secondary school starts by 8:am and so does every other primary and secondary school in this country. Or does it mean universities has their own lecture time different? 

   I wondered so I had to get my bucket and get down stairs to get my own water too. 

On getting to the tap, I noticed multitudes of girls bathing down stairs. Then I began to wonder if the school has no bathroom 

But Cynthia had already  directed me to the bathroom and the convenient room last night. Or is it that the rooms are for fancy or whatt.  I thought as I walk closer to the tap, then,  I heard some girls laughing,so I listened carefully and I heard one of those girls saying

"what kind of a world is this, where some babes boob's  is as tiny as an ant hole. Anita your breast is too small! Go and ask your mama for some milk! You need it in your life! She said looking at Anita as she made mockeries of her

Ah!  I looked at Anita and her breast is even bigger than mine. If I should bath down stairs their would laugh at me until I begin to  shed tears.  I can never bath down stairs with those big boob's babes. I don't need a breastly assault . I am like cythian who said that her boobs are small but her Boo likes it"  even though I never have a Boo yet, I know my husband won't push me away if I finally gets married tomorrow . I gave myself hope as I fetched the pail of water saying within me " I'll keep the bathrooms clean, it will be my own place of bath"

Then I saw Anita tying her rapper and rushing upstairs with great annoyance. "that poor girl must be a fresher too,  She's absolutely new to this environment"

I said to myself. I wish I could keep her company and at least make her feel better just like maureen to me. She's so quiet and pretty too. More beautiful than those big boob's babes  that made mockery of her. I wondered why she didn't say a word for retaliation. Then, I walked up to her and said "dear friend do not worry, we are birds of same feather, we can flock together. 

Anita looked at my chest and smiled

    "yes we are" she said "what's your name? 

Lina" I heard my name from behind. Anticipating who the caller might be. Behold it is Maureen. Is this your hostel space ?

She said looking into my eyes with great anticipation of glamour ." Yes" it is. I answered 

She quickly held my hands and made a peck on it and said I am so happy to see u here. 

And then she gave me a very warm hug. 

It's nice having you here as a hostel mate. It's good to have you around this vicinity. 

I was full of enthusiasm to have her as a hostel mate too. 

   
Awkwardly, as I looked upward,  I noticed some group of four girls taking a shot on us while we were still hugging. I noticed they were whispering and laughing as if there's something funny going on. 

I was curious and I wanted to know what's going on. I walked close to the four girls and asked them to let me see the pic their shot. But one of them collected the phone and ran away from their mist.saying 

"all lesbians must go"

Am not a lesbian and I shouldn't be bothered. 

I thought. 

But was she actually saying we were lesbians?  This is what I wanted to figure out so I ran after her to find out why she said such rubbish after taking a photo of us. 

But Maureen called me back  and ask me to mind my own biswax. 

"this is hostel life for you"  she said 

"some of them here are bloggers on gossips,  probably they wanna publish new stories"

"but that should be the  more reasons why  I should go after her and smatch the phone on the ground. I shouldn't be used for a gossip on the the net. Is she crazy? I said with annoyance 

"please be calm" Anita said 

With a cool wet eyes. Leave them alone,  they are trouble makers" She continues

My granny said "if u go after a trouble maker, then you are looking for troubles. Please let's go upstairs. 

She pleaded with me. And Maureen supported. "we can be best friends , best buddies. Let's mind our own business.

Then we went upstairs singing my imidiate forged songs.  

      Singing along with me

       To the highest mountains

       Dancing along with me 

           Like a bear... 

          Then I hugged (She hugs them)  

        And kissed (she peck them) 

       My sweet smelling bestie. 

(She peck them again and said. )

     "let the foolish bloggers come and make a video of us"

  "videos of us"

Replied the two girl as they chucckled and climbed the stairs with Lina's prevsong
 song....click here for episode 3

   

LINA'S DIARY (episode 1) My First Day In School

           

                   LINA'S DIARY

                          episode 1

               My  First Day In School

                      A story writen by

                      Akwuba Ijeoma

                       

              

       
It was a rainy day, yet the cloud was still very bright, as though it was a sunny afternoon, I wondered what could be the cause,  then I realized it was my first day in school, and it was an imagination. Even when every where was covered with thick cloud so  that no one could see,  yet I  was able to see very clearly. 

My mama said " it was the joy of being to a new environment" and my papa said"it was my first day in school"

Could this be the reason? I thought. 

Ever since I finished my secondary school, I've being dreaming of going to a higher lnstitution just to escape home chores and run away from my siblings disturbances . But then it was as if" heaven and earth will roll  away"

     "oh when will November come! "

I sang and gasped as I wandered in my thought. 

   Oh November! The month that traveled with my treasure, 

    The month that holds my joy! 

    Where have you gone to? 

    And when are you coming back? 

   I heard it's on the eleventh month of the twelfth month of this year. 

Is that so.....? 

If your answer Is yes" oh dearest November 

   Please don't forget to come to me with this treasure of mine

   The admission of gold I've being waiting for so long"
That was my poem on admission aspirations 

 Oh diary, forgive me for I had forgotten to introduce myself to you, dearie. 

   I am Lola adebayo, but you can call me Lina, a name from saint Marcellina, it is my babtisma name. 

Lina is the last four latter of marcellina. 

It is my Nick name. 

I am the only Yoruba girl that came all the way from Lagos state to mama schola's shop to pick you out from the  box where you have been pressed by your fellow diaries . And I brought you to this hostel where girls dwell, if you are a guy, diary, of course you would like it coz there are many boobs and asses flooting around this room without shame. 
Oh diary, I am a poet, a novelist and I like singing my songs. 

I hope you don't mind, as I continue writing the stories on my first day in school.
   
As I entered into the school gate walking majestically as though there was no rain falling from the sky,  then I noticed some ladies and gentle guys runing towards a tent called "the Fidelity hot-spot center that is located close to the main gate. 

That is where some Uniben students charge their phones and make a good browsing from the internet.

It was still raining so some people ran to the place for shelter. 

   I was under the rain singing my latest poem

"oh this gold of mine 

This treasure of mine

This silver of mine 

Am sinking in  it. 

This river of mine

 am swimming in it...

  Then my phone rang, it was Kemi  my cousin , she called to know if I had gotten to the school already. And when I said "Yes"  she told me  to enter a bus that is going to ofololo basement.

While she was still on the call,   my phone got drained so I had to enter the Fidelity hot-spot center in other to make an enquiries on where to enter the bus that is going to ofololo basement and also to charge my new Android phone. 

  On getting closer to the place, I noticed a fat young boy  opening and closing his mouth like the Yoruba old men that yawn for dinner. I knew he was saying something but what exactly was he saying that keeps the people laughing and smiling like there's no ressesion in the state,   I wondered as I move closer grunting and sniffing thereby making sure that my luggage gets there  with me. 

"hello everyone" I said making sure that they recognise my new outfit which my granny bought for me for gaining admission into the  university. 

 "I am Lina, I came from Lagos, the city of excellence " Trying to show my ego

    "shoo"

Shouted one of the students

I looked at her and snubbed. Then I continued with what I was saying. 

   "as I was saying,  I came from lag, and I need someone to show me where to take a bus to Ofololo basement. 

Suddenly, all of them burst out laughing as if I had said something funny. Then the fat young boy that was opening and closing his mouth in the name of telling a

funny story looked at them and said with a very bold and coarse voice that sounded like that of a Bush cow...
"any Uniben student that doesn't know how to pronounce hall 4 law basement, is that one a Uniben student? 

No.... They all said in unism. 

I was so shy and confused coz I couldn't understand what they were saying. The slang was so complicative  that I couldn't figure it out  with my little Yoruba sense. 

what could make this niggas laugh at me this way.

I thought as I left them with shame. Thinking my head out as I forgot my smallest luggage.
Then, I listened and I heard some girls still laughing hysterically. The laughter sounded like that of  Aniola,  a Yoruba old lady that would laugh and hang her legs up just to attract a suitor or young men that are passing by. 

Then, a young girl that looks exactly like my age came towards me and said

"hello, I'm Maureen, and here is your box. Am so sorry for those dudes they don't really know how to treat a fresher. 

    "hi I am Lola, but you can call me Lina. Thanks for your kindness, am so gratefull"

"you are welcome Lina. Guess you are looking for the basement bus? 

"yes, the one that is going directly to ofolo,basement.

I said not being sure of where I was going to. 

   "there" She said "that is hall 4 law basement bus. You can sit in the front sit with me.  That's if u don't mind. 

"oky" I said trying to form phonetics. 

 "thanks once more"

Suddenly, the bus  got filled up and a dark old man came into the bus and said "

   "make sure you are with your 20 naira change"

Hmm, I was chocked, coz I was with a one thousand naira note. But thanks to Maureen. She paid for my t. Fair, after a serious embarrassment from the driver,who nearly could had buried me to the ground just because of a twenty naira note that I couldn't afford. He yawned angrily at me

  "why didn't u come with a one million naira note just to route on a journey of twenty naira prize. Look at your eyes like that of an owl. Ole buruku!

I was shocked and I wept within me, he reminded me of my popsy.  He can never say a word without an insult added either at the beginning or at the end of his statement especially when he's upset with mumsy, or when he's hungry for food. That moment when he could finish a bowl of rice without taking water nor whisper a word to anyone around him. Not even words like "do u mind eating with me" it is the Yoruba tradition and I know Ibo's does that too. That moment when you are hungry for food and there's a pot of rice at your front but u couldn't smell nor touch one grain  of it  Hu"

It was so painful that I had to hide my face from the people  in case there's tears that would want to come out to disgrace me in the public.

"it's OK, Lina,  she said with a very sweet voice. Welcome to Uniben. Some said it's unistress. But it's still the choice of many. She taped my back with a derisive smile on her face. 

Then I wondered why she's saying welcome to me by this period ,why would she say welcome when I just finished from a trauma from the driver... And why was her smile so derisive as if there's something wrong in welcoming me to the school environment. These were my thoughts.gosh! I exclaimed 

  Oh diary, my first day in school could  be summed up as an oxymoron: where I was happy for getting into the school, I was also sad coz of the way those dudes laughed at  me and then the angry driver that roared like a mad lion, that old man that gave me the second condition.... Wanting to give me hbp just because of  a twenty naira note but thanks to God for  giving me an angel of love "Maureen"  She made my day. And I'll sing a song of her, my next poem will bear her name thus "angel maureen" the little angel that comes to school"

       Lina looks at her diary and said  "hu.. I guess u are feeling sleepy dear , it is right time I stops writing . This is 12:00am and am feeling sleepy too.  I have to stop here dear. But before I does that,  I'll like to give u a name" kay" he is the guy that listens to every bit of my story in Victoria island  . Oh diary, you are my Kay in school.he likes my stories and I guess u like it too. Thanks for listening 

 Hope to get more gists tomorrow. Gudnit diary and may angels be our keeper. 

She kissed the diary and said "sweet 

dreams.Click here for episode 2